Talking to Survive Season
By Dori Zerbe Cornelsen
In the retail shopping world, the dog
days of summer are no longer known as "August” but rather "Back-to-School.” This has become the year’s second
largest seasonal shopping event behind "winter holidays” (not "Christmas”). Advertising campaigns
have made the link between these high seasons of shopping suggesting that back-to-school
for parents is "the most wonderful time of the year.”
When Statistics Canada reported that
sales edged up slightly in May, retailers anticipated a stronger back-to-school
shopping season. This wasn’t the
case in the United States where the National Retail Federation predicted a
slight dip in back-to-school spending.
NRF President and CEO Matthew Shay
suggested, "Families aren’t opposed to spending on what they need, but parents
want their children to take a good look around at what they already have before
deciding what to buy for back to school this year.” When the dust settles the question is, how did families negotiate
what children need in this highly
charged season of buying?
Without routine communication between
parents and children about money, it is tough to settle spending disputes in
the middle of a seasonal rush. Instead
of hoping that money issues will just resolve themselves, families need to have
regular values-based money conversations according to Nathan Dungan author of Money Sanity Solutions: Linking Money &
Meaning. Dungan’s research has
found that adolescents whose families openly talk about money issues are less
focussed on spending and have improved self-esteem in comparison with other
adolescents.
Dungan encourages families to first talk
together about money assumptions such as how to distinguish between needs and
wants. Everyone experiences "gotta have it now moments,” Dungan
says. Being able to step back and decide
whether something is a need or a want is an important life skill. Finding a good balance between the two
is another.
Here’s a suggestion: parents and children could go through
back-to-school purchases and talk about which were need items and which were want
items. If different conclusions
are reached, this provides the chance to talk about the values that help each person
tell the difference between the two. It can also be very enlightening for parents to invite children to talk
about how they experience household spending with regards to needs and wants.
With this foundation, parents and
children can begin tackling other questions together such as:
- Do brands really matter?
- How does peer pressure affect
the spending decisions of every family member?
- What are appropriate technology
needs?
- Can we all agree to spend less
on ourselves and share more with others?
Let good conversations begin!
Dori Zerbe Cornelsen is a stewardship consultant at the Winnipeg, Manitoba office of Mennonite Foundation of Canada. For stewardship education and estate and charitable gift planning, contact your nearest MFC office.
First published September 2011