On Receiving Graciously
Mike Strathdee
Lesson four in Mennonite Foundation of Canada’s study series, God, Money,& Me, is entitled "We are all Receivers.” The lesson asks provocative questions that challenge conventional thinking, particularly our desire for independence and the need to always be on the giving rather than the receiving end.
There is no question that I owe an incalculable debt to many people – my wife Carolyn, my daughters, parents and in-laws, friends and relatives, neighbors, teachers, pastors, mentors – for the blessings I have enjoyed in life. Yet I have remained stubbornly suspicious of, and frequently resistant to, the idea of incurring debt, financial or otherwise. This attitude may come from a subconscious awareness of being descended from generations of tenant farmers, sheep herders who scratched out a bare existence among the rocks of northern Scotland.
Carolyn and I have tried to live with as little debt as possible, allowing her to stay home with our girls and nurturing the middle class fantasy of being mortgage free by the time our oldest child is ready to attend our local Mennonite high school. That, I’ve often dreamed, would allow us to merely substitute one set of payments for another, and allow Ella to benefit from Christian education without having to cut back on giving to causes we care about.
After all, as Jesus is quoted in Acts 20:35, It is more blessed to give than to receive. And God laughs at my presumption and tendency to comprehend only part of the passage. The Bible doesn’t say that those who receive aren’t blessed, so why am I uncomfortable being on the receiving end of things?
Since our youngest daughter, Kate was diagnosed with borderline autism, our preoccupations, outlook, and financial plans have shifted dramatically. Conversations about when we can afford to do which renovation and still stay on track to be debt-free have gone by the way side. In January, we started expensive and intensive private therapy, therapy that costs tens of thousands of dollars a year. It is therapy that could make the difference in whether Kate is able to enjoy a productive adulthood or will be ever dependent on assistance from the state.
Now we talk about how soon we will need to begin tapping a home equity line, and for how many years. Still, when the first of several friends asked if there was a way they could assist financially, I replied: "Your prayers are what we need and covet most.”
My wife’s parents, most generously, presented us with a series of cheques to help defray part of the therapy costs. We are thankful for their selflessness, and are trying to work at being okay with the fact that we will neither be able to pay it back, nor "pay it forward,” for many years at least.
Receiving graciously is a challenge. It’s a challenge to acknowledge dependence and interdependence. But maybe I’ll be able to better live out the challenge of the song "Will you let me be your servant” once I can fully accept the line that says: "Pray that I may have the grace to let you be my servant too.”